FUCK YOU, Pakistan

(Originally posted by Pat on 6/26/10)

You, the government of Pakistan, have taken it upon yourself to scan the Internet for content which you deem "blasphemous" or "offensive to Muslims".
Therefore, I and the rest of the atheist community will take it upon ourselves to ramp up the blasphemy quotient of the Internet OVER NINE THOUSAND, so that either your plan will backfire into allowing more blasphemy, you will detach yourself from the Internet and all the trade and communication it offers you, or else you end up spending all of your time rooting out blasphemy and don't have the resources to do anything else.
Moreover, I am going to do it without saying anything that isn't actually true or at least highly plausible.

First of all, Islam is a false and evil religion. It has killed thousands, if not millions of people. It is demonstrably worse than other religions; while Christianity is terrible, Islam is far, far worse. I'm not sure if Scientology is worse than Islam; it's close either way.
Muslims are in rare cases murderous tyrants, terrorists, and even genocides; but this of course true of every belief system, including atheism. No, I am more concerned with the majority of Muslims, who hold views that are racist, misogynist, anti-Semitic, and antithetical to democracy. When censorship like yours is actually popular among Muslims, you clearly demonstrate that Islam is not prepared to handle the liberal, secular republic that is the pinnacle of human civilization.
Muhammad was a megalomaniac, a sociopath, and a child rapist. He organized a society under his own tyrannical rule, and through Machiavellian social engineering he managed to persuade people that he was a prophet of God. Osama bin Laden's moral character is quite a bit better than Muhammad's; after all, to my knowledge bin Laden doesn't rape children.
The Arabic for "Allah" can be easily decorated to look like male genitalia.
Women in many Muslim societies risk having acid thrown in their faces if they challenge accepted social and sexual norms.
Jews and Christians circumcise males, which is bad. Muslims "circumcise" (a euphemism for radical clitoridectomy and labioplasty) females, which is quite literally an atrocity.
The Qur'an contains all the worst parts of the Bible and almost none of the good parts. The idealistic peace and love of Jesus was forcibly excised (not unlike the mutilation of a circumcision in fact), to return to the absurdity of Noah's Ark and the genocidal evil of raping and pillaging the world in the name of God. Compared to other literature and philosophy of the time, the Tanakh was a moral regression of about 200 years; the Bible was a regression of about 500 years; the Qur'an was a regression of at least 1500 years.
Muslims started the Crusades by invading the Byzantine Empire. This is not to justify the Christian response, but rather to show that it wasn't a one-sided Christian genocide of Muslims, but on the contrary a war that Muslims started and lost.
Because it is only a book and doesn't deserve anywhere near the respect it receives, I once read from a translation of the Qur'an in my left hand while masturbating with my right. And yes, I know all about Muslim taboos about translating the Qur'an and using the left hand; that was part of the point. Though there are some pornographic parts, they really weren't erotic enough to get me off, so eventually I put the Qur'an down and finished off with my own fantasies.
The Qur'an is  a waste of trees and would be more useful for humanity as fuel or toilet paper.
Salman Rushdie is a good and brave man who risked his own life to make the world better. Moreover, The Satanic Verses is quite an enjoyable and enlightening read.
Some of the cartoons about Muhammad that caused riots were actually quite funny and poignant.
Think about it: A large number of Muslims riot over cartoons. This is how morally defective your culture is.
Speaking of moral defects, equal rights for women and gays are advances in morality---substantial advances at that. Large portions of the human population now have well-deserved rights that they did not otherwise have.
Sam Harris often isn't harsh enough on other religions, including Christianity and Judaism but especially Buddhism; but his criticisms of Islam are entirely accurate. Your religion pretty much deserves all the criticism it can get.
Secular liberal democracies are demonstrably more successful societies than theocracies. (We are richer, healthier, happier, longer-lived, more stable, etc.)  Our prosperity and your poverty is in large part due to the fact that we seek freedom and equality and you repress and control religion and sexuality. An obvious way this is so: 50% of the human population is female, and it works a lot better to have that 50% working rather than trapped in the home.
Though I abhor censorship in all its forms and would never seriously consider it, I am forced to admit that the world would be overall better off if the Bible and Qur'an were banned. I protect these books only on the principle that books must be protected; this protection has no basis in the value of the books themselves---for they have none. I protect the Qur'an for the same reason I protect Mein Kampf and the Marquis de Sade.
Finally, you can't possibly win this fight. Your theocratic governance and evil religion may cause a great deal of damage, but we in the secular democracies have the money and the technology, and in the long run that is why we will win. You can join us and live, or continue to fight us and die.
Fuck you, Pakistan.